9 Quotes & Sayings By Blake Nelson

Blake Nelson is the author of two books, a guide for business owners and a novel. He has written for Harvard Business Review, "The Onion" and "The New York Times." He has appeared on various radio programs including NPR's "All Things Considered." His work has also been featured in the "Los Angeles Times" and the "Wall Street Journal."

1
But I think Cybil was my biggest fan. She cut out my articles and hung them in her locker and we were always cracking up how if you wrote the simplest, most obvious thing in the world people thought you were a genius. Blake Nelson
2
I stood there, watching her. The whole world was a dream, I realized. Everyone was acting in a bad soap opera. The whole world was one big FOX TV show. Blake Nelson
3
It's hard to imagine talking to Lucy. But I can imagine sleeping with her. I have been imagining it quite regularly. I can't stop imagining it. Maybe it's time for my first Lucy Branch, my first truly physical relationship. And why do I assume it would be a bad thing? Maybe it's better with someone different from you. I could teach her how fluorocarbons affect the ozone. She could teach me about oral sex. We would both become better people. Blake Nelson
4
This is the typical fallacy on which all of CONSUMER AMERICA is based. Some piece of useless crap will make people like you. Blake Nelson
5
All the girls stared at me with hatred in their eyes. It was a big drama that had to be acted out. But deep down, nobody really cared. The other girls didn't care about Jennifer. Jennifer didn't care about me. I didn't care about anything. Everyone was so full of crap. Blake Nelson
6
But what were you supposed to do with that weight? Once it was on you? Just be a man? Just suck it up? Maybe you were. Maybe that was the real test. Maybe that is exactly the thing that made you a man: the ability to function with the worst possible secrets in your brain. Which was why so many grown-up men seemed so ridiculous. They never felt that responsibility. They were untested, unproven; they were boys in grown-up clothes. Blake Nelson
7
I denounce the do-gooders, the feel-gooders, the “activist clubs, ” and anyone else who makes people feel like the problem is being taken care of. Trust me. The problem is not being taken care of. Blake Nelson
8
Do you ever think about the ocean?" Nick asked me." What about it?" I said." Like what could live down there? Like how there's as much life down there as up here? Maybe more?"" God Lives Underwater, " said someone. "That's the name of a band. They're awesome."" But seriously, " Nick said, "it's like an alternate universe. Right here on our own planet."" Right here, a hundred feet from us, " said Sheila."Right here in my hair, " said one of the girls who had swum, pulling some sea gunk out of her wet hair. Everyone laughed quietly at that. Nick drank his beer. The wood crackled as it burned. We all stared at the black ocean. Blake Nelson